Flat tire clubness

Springtime.  The previous day had been lovely and warm.  The sun's rays had replaced any need for a jacket, so today without checking the forecast I ventured to work with nothing but a short sleeved polo.  Wind increased throughout the morning and snow began to fly.  The snow became more intense during a patient visit, and when I left their house there were several inches of snow on the roads.  I was not concerned about my lack of jacket, since I only had to walk about 30 ft from home to car and back while exposed.  As I drove to my next appointment the streets became very slick and covered with snow.  Arriving at my destination I tried to stop the car, but the snow prevented any road friction and I slid straight into a metal grate in someones driveway.  There seemed to be no incident, so I carried on and visited my patient.  After leaving I made it a few blocks down the street when I noticed that my car was driving oddly and pulling to one side.  I stopped the car and found that my front passenger tire was flat.  club.  By this time the snow was a fierce blizzard and it was freezing cold out.  The jack peeked out from the top of the snow as I manipulated the icy metal tire iron with bare hands to lift the car enough to change the tire.  Painfully the lug nuts were twisted free with slow, numbed hands.  The trusty full sized spare tire was fitted to the lug bolts and the lug nuts were tightened.  The car lowered slowly as the jack was cranked and cranked and cranked.  As the spare tire made contact with the snowy asphalt it didn't stop the lowering of the car...  It continued to sink down and the realization hit.  The spare tire is also flat!  It just occurred to me that this car is 18 years old and this tire has never been used and has never been filled with air since it was brand new.  CLUB.  By this time I am shivering from cold and wet from the falling snow.  I couldn't think of any place nearby that would have an air compressor, but then I realized that my sister lived very close to where I was.  I called Heidi and she was ready and willing to help me.  I asked if she had an air compressor and she said "yes Ill be right over!".  I figured the air compressor could be plugged into a power converter that I keep in my car.  Heidi arrived with the equipment, I plugged it in, flipped the switch AAAAND!  nothing.  Apparently it needs more power than from a 12V battery.  CLUB!!  I then asked if she had a bike pump and she said she did, so she went back home and brought one back.  In the blowing wind and falling snow with no jacket or gloves I pumped up my car tire with a bike pump.  It took long and it was CLUB.  so club.