Chivalry is not dead....unfortunately

I went on a date last night and the girl lost her purse with her apartment keys and car keys. She lives on a slim income and is a single mother, so after she paid to replace her apartment key ($50), I offered to pay for replacing the car keys. I was like, "Don't even worry about it." I even told her to step away while I worked out the payment with the keymaker. I'm sure she stepped away thinking I was about to dish out like $100 or so. Welp turns out key replacement is a total racket industry and it cost me $460.00 because her car required a key with a chip and I had the guy make two copies. Sweeeeeet! I still haven't told her the amount. Maybe I'll trust in good karma and just let it go.

Flat tire clubness

Springtime.  The previous day had been lovely and warm.  The sun's rays had replaced any need for a jacket, so today without checking the forecast I ventured to work with nothing but a short sleeved polo.  Wind increased throughout the morning and snow began to fly.  The snow became more intense during a patient visit, and when I left their house there were several inches of snow on the roads.  I was not concerned about my lack of jacket, since I only had to walk about 30 ft from home to car and back while exposed.  As I drove to my next appointment the streets became very slick and covered with snow.  Arriving at my destination I tried to stop the car, but the snow prevented any road friction and I slid straight into a metal grate in someones driveway.  There seemed to be no incident, so I carried on and visited my patient.  After leaving I made it a few blocks down the street when I noticed that my car was driving oddly and pulling to one side.  I stopped the car and found that my front passenger tire was flat.  club.  By this time the snow was a fierce blizzard and it was freezing cold out.  The jack peeked out from the top of the snow as I manipulated the icy metal tire iron with bare hands to lift the car enough to change the tire.  Painfully the lug nuts were twisted free with slow, numbed hands.  The trusty full sized spare tire was fitted to the lug bolts and the lug nuts were tightened.  The car lowered slowly as the jack was cranked and cranked and cranked.  As the spare tire made contact with the snowy asphalt it didn't stop the lowering of the car...  It continued to sink down and the realization hit.  The spare tire is also flat!  It just occurred to me that this car is 18 years old and this tire has never been used and has never been filled with air since it was brand new.  CLUB.  By this time I am shivering from cold and wet from the falling snow.  I couldn't think of any place nearby that would have an air compressor, but then I realized that my sister lived very close to where I was.  I called Heidi and she was ready and willing to help me.  I asked if she had an air compressor and she said "yes Ill be right over!".  I figured the air compressor could be plugged into a power converter that I keep in my car.  Heidi arrived with the equipment, I plugged it in, flipped the switch AAAAND!  nothing.  Apparently it needs more power than from a 12V battery.  CLUB!!  I then asked if she had a bike pump and she said she did, so she went back home and brought one back.  In the blowing wind and falling snow with no jacket or gloves I pumped up my car tire with a bike pump.  It took long and it was CLUB.  so club.

IRS Clubness

With my new internship, I had to write a draft of an educational reimbursement program since the company didn't have one yet.  To make sure I did it correctly, I called the IRS to clarify some questions since you have to be a philosopher or a PhD to understand a good amount of the tax code.  After holding for about 20 minutes, the person answering the phone said I had to talk to a different department.  Of course, this meant that I had to hold for another 20 minutes.  After finally talking to someone in that department, they said I had to talk to someone in another department.  After holding for another 20 minutes, I talked to someone who specialized in what my question was about.  They said they had to check on my question, so they asked me to hold for a bit.  10 or 15 minutes later, they came back.  "Thanks for holding.  So in answer to your question...  ..."  The call cut out...  CLUUUUUUB!!!

The Origin of Club

The Origin of the word "Club" comes from years past when a friend was partaking of club soda.  As he ingested his first sip, he soon realized that club soda is quite unsavory.  Instead of discarding the remaining soda, he continued drinking it for the sake of drinking it.  As he did so the word Club was born.  We all participate in Club activities or situations.  Have you ever been extremely full, but you still eat one more slice of pizza?  You just Clubbed that down.  Have you ever been miserable at a sporting event because of the blazing sun and you still didn't leave?  That is Club.  Do you want to experience something so Club it has been termed the "Club house"?  Drive your car on a hot summer day with the windows shut and the heater on full blast for the entire duration of your voyage.  That will give you a solid understanding of what club is.  It is everything tedious, annoying, and obnoxious that you just have to endure during life.  This blog is dedicated to all of those experiences that you just have to Club your way through.